TinksSeduction's Xanga

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 08:17:05 GMT

Back in Washington

Karma

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 12:47:00 GMT

I have always been a big bliever in karma. When something bad happens to someone i preach how it's important to be nice because shit like that happens when you don't (andrea -.-). Everytime i acted a way that I really shouldn't, I justified it, and therefore exluding myself from karma's rath. Well, I was wrong to do that becauce it still caught up to me. The other night my boyfriends brother (who is 15) let me have it. He hates me, he tells me he can't stand me, and went off how "why you live here" "if I had a girlfriend i would get more own house" "my mom hates picking you up from work". I Really shouldn't let works of a 15 year old hurt me but it does, cause I am always so nice. But, I am presumming alot of this hate from him comes from the fact that I am the only one that does not overlook his lack of manners and respect, and I let him know. especially when the rudness is done to me. Which brings to another point, he made up lies about me and told my boyfriend. He told him that i am so rude that i watch whatever I want no matter what the watch. HAH wtf he does that to me and i get on him for not asking or saying please. There is only one time I asked if I could please please watch something, and i promise please and being nice were the top things. I am always stuck watching damn shows they want and I never complain -.- and supposedly i snatch the laptop away whenever i want, but I guess i am losing my mind c ause i don't remember any of these. I never had anyone make up lies to get someone to hate me before.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 20:26:16 GMT

right now, i can't picture myself with him, but every picture without him just has sadness written all over it

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 14:25:02 GMT

When your heart is attracted to someone it beats faster then its normal rate. When circumstances don't let you express your emotions your heart beats even faster. Sometimes the beating becomes unbearable, it feels like your heart is crying because it's so sad it can't be with the one it wants.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 12:26:10 GMT

Isn't it funny how you change. Few days ago I deleted myself from a bunch of blogrings such as "i love indie rock" ".i love chucks" "how about a game of go hid and fuck yourself". =/ yeah... ahaha. The only blogring i decided to stay in was the -"learn how to fucking type" cause the disfiguration of the english language still urkes me.

In other news, I called in sick for work today. Lindsey is picking me up and we are going to southgate shopping center. Her reason is to fix up the southgate macy's sunglass hut, help give her brownie points to the regional manager. My intentions are a little more on the selfish side. The main reason is because I have a huge crush on the the manager at the Macy's Southgate Sunglass Hut ^_^. I also got a sales coupon at Express and we don't have one at the mall I work at. Plus baby shopping for two of my friends who are due next month.

Well my boyfriend left for the gym about an hour and a half ago, he is probably going to be back soon so I should log off. This xanga is something he doesn't know about, and don't think he should either.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 15:16:28 GMT

Three customers I have told me that Capital One is the worst and I need to pay off and cancel asap. I took their advice....

Capital One Paid off and cancelled!!!! Go me

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 12:17:33 GMT

Can you tell the diffrence when you like someone and when your heart likes someone? Do you ever feel your heart start beating faster when you see them? That's your heart telling you it's attracted to that person. I met a guy like that last week. He was training to be a manager for a Macy's Sunglass Hut at ours.

I'm living with my boyfriend and his family. They are the runs who drive me to and from work. It's impossible to even think of an affair, right?!? So I tried not to get attached to him, but he would come over and talk to me. He complimented me on my looks ahah ^^;; and he bought me valentines hersey kisses on his last day training cause he knows I love them, plus a phone number ^_^.

He came in the store yesterday to pick up sunglasses from our SGH, but right after i said Hi I had to help a customer in Estee Lauder. He picked up the sunglasses then came to the counter, my heart started beating faster and faster. He asked about my schedule for today, and said he may drop by. According to the SGH manager at my store tomorrow is his day off. I am so confused, should I take a chance and let my heart fall knowing that I am going to be moving in a month. A lunch date wouldn't hurt? Just talking would hurt? But do you call it just friends when your heart beats ten time faster then it's normal rate?

Wow xanga sure has changed...

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 14:46:32 GMT

I am surprised to see I still have friends keeping up to their xangas after all these years. It's amazing that I have given up. With the urges to let things out I have decided I should come back to my xanga and try to keep it up to date. I posted an entry about two months ago beceause I really need to let people know how I feel, let him know.

My life has changed so much since him and I. I was so sad about us not being together I couldn't bare to unpack my stuff and beg for my job back, so i fled to flordia with my grandparents. I got a job at macy's selling fragrances. I met a guy. But after a few months living with my parents was not working out, my feelings for my new guy started to drop, but I loved my work and the people I worked with. I wanted to stick it out for at least the holiday season.

In October the rising problems with my grandparents and I reached it's peak and it was time for me to leave, but it was right when the holiday at rush was coming in, I didn't want to go . So my boyfriend asked me to come live with him and his family. I said yes. Another rash decission made on my part that I regeret. Despite the feelings for him are already dead, the living conditions are so below my standerded its hard for me to breath. Its a two bedroom house, exluding me, six people live here. My boyfriends mom and stepdad share aroom with his two younger brothers. Before I, him and his younger brother shared a room, now the brother sleeps on the coutch. There is only one bathroom, the tub is stained and looks cruddy, i freeak out if i step of the blue shower mat, let alone take a nice hot bubble bath (cry). There are tiny roaches everywhere. You HAVE to rewash your dishes before you use it cause of bugs in the cupboards. They fry everything they cook, and tend to make a nasty mix of filipino and american food.

It's also hard for me to watch his sibings, they are so spoiled when they shouldn't be, and so disrespectfull to their mother. She is the sweetest women, but she doens't raise her kids to well. Instead of paying her 20 year olds (not my bf fyi) credit cards, tickets, repairs to his cars, all his new cars, paying for his dates, ect she could save thatmoney to buy a decent house in a decent living area. Without her he would be trash, but he doesn't care, he still treats her like shit. THe momement he gets in the house he snatches the comp from his little brothers so he can talk to his white trash girls, his mom just sitts there, lets him get away with it. I don't know, i think the annoyance of my boyfriend and me wanting to ge3t my attention of the guilt of me using him, i tend to pay attentionto things like this. But, on the brighter side, I am learning that when I become a mother spoiling my child is the last thing I amgoing to do.

Well i need to start getting ready for work. I write more about my life later

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 05:02:26 GMT

I'm sorry I hurt you. I want you to know it wasn't because I didn't want to be with you. It was because I wasn't ready, I didn't want to drag you down with me. I should of told you what was going on, but I was scared, i was scared how bad you would think of me. I wanted it so bad, don't ever think I didn't.

You're the only one in my heart. Even though it may seemed, for the past five years I had someone else in my heart, they weren't you always were. That's why relationships I get into never work. I can't stop loving you. We were ment for each other, I know that. I hope you know that too. we both just need to be ready. I love you so much, so very much. i still cry...

Monday, March 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 23:43:51 GMT

I am putting my heart on the line for him agian.